New Line n PAIN!!!!!!!!!!

tonight i am lifting this from facebook becos i can barey keep my eyes open and my pain in my back is coming and going like mad (youll understand that when you read on!). i'm waiting for the dr to come n prescribe some more regular oramorph. Credit to the nurses tonight, when i had my pain - no messing stright in on the case and helping me. Reassuring me and everything. Brilliantt. Like i say i will write more tomorrow but soon as ive had this painkiller im off to bed!!!

Well I’ve had my new line in and it was an unusual one! Lol I was waiting for about 2 hours this morning before they came to get me, I was very nervous but not as bad as I was the first time I had it done. I almost fell asleep while I waited! My blood sugar levels were low which meant I had to like put this weird glucose cream in my mouth to give me more sugar in my body – dunno why its important but I guess it must be! I also didn’t eat or drink anything in the morning so I could have sedation during the procedure. Just to help relax me, not knock me out or anything.I got down there about quarter to eleven and about 11 went into the like mini – theatre, like an x-ray room kinda thing with lots of fancy equipment!

Then the doctor came and that’s when they told me that instead of a new line in my chest they were gonna put it in my leg, near my groin area! Sound gross – yeh that’s what I thought!!Its because they think that if they put another one back in my chest the tumour could press on it and stop it working which is what they think caused the other one to stop so one in my leg is much safer if a little weirder!! I was a bit exposed though on the table when I had it done, my trousers round my ankles so the new one could go in and my top down so the old one could come out! Lol so dignified! Luckily it was all women in there with only one guy. I’m quite glad its not in my chest cos now I don’t have to worry about it not working cos of the mass pressing on it so least once I’m used to it in my leg it’ll be better. Just feels a bit weird!!

I had a cannula in my hand so they could put fluids through me as I was a bit dehydrated apparently! That went fine though. I’m getting ok with cannulas now lol, well recently they have gone well anyhow! And then they started. I felt the anaesthetic which was ok, and I felt tugging and discomfort when they put in but it was bearable! They told me I was a calm patient and wanted more like me! Lol though I didn’t feel too calm. After a while the doctor said to me ‘oh gosh I didn’t give you any sedation, I’m sorry, do you want some now or just want me to carry on, I’m ¾ of the way through!’ I had assumed they had put some through my cannula but it wasn’t having the greatest effect! Turns out I had none!! Lol so I was fully awake and alert although obviously I didn’t feel pain cos of the local anaesthetic. So I did it without sedation – quite proud of me really!!

After that one was in, the old one came out and that was more painful, she put lots of local anaesthetic in but I still felt some pain from her pulling the stitches but it was over fairly fast. I was soooooooo glad when it was over!! I saw the old line too! Bit gross! I came out about 12 so I was in there about an hour. I was glad for my dinner!!I was ok afterwards, some soreness now, more aching really, but its not too bad. And I can’t walk very well at the min cos its taking some getting used too and the stitch is kinda rubbing a bit but I should be ok in the next day or so. It all works the same – it’s just hanging out my leg rather than my chest!

LolI’ve had some really bad chest/back pain today from where they think the mass is pressing on a nerve and I had a dizzy spell in the toilet with such intense pain I thought I was gonna pass out. I’ve had the pain before but never as bad. Luckily mum was with me and called the nurse but unluckily I’d started to get changed and was totally undressed when they came in so not the most dignified! Lol, once I’d had some oramorph it eased it a bit but it’s still uncomfortable and I can’t wait for this treatment to start to take it off! I hate feeling dizzy and sick like that, reminds me of when I passed out in asda and it freaks me so much! But I was ok once I was back on the bed and the Dr. is sure it’s nothing serious as such, just the mass pressing on nerves. Painkillers help anyhow! To a certain extent.

So that’s my day, I have had a lot of messages today but obv haven’t had chance to reply though I will try in the next couple of days or so. I feel ok still, pretty tired but then it’s been a long day! Lol. Hopefully should start chemo tomorrow, I haven’t heard for sure yet but I think I will. Dr. Haynes came in while I was having my line fitted and spoke to mum but obv nothing new to report since yday, just said why he’d asked for the line in my leg and also that the search for the donor had been initiated in case we do get that far.

My nan came tonight and she seemed ok, surprised at how calm I was I think but like I say I’ve been so focused on my line today I haven’t thought about anything else really!! She was ok though I think, she tends to live in her own little positive world and I think she’s starting to realise the truth now but I think she feels better for seeing me and speakin to me and I really do appreciate her coming. I saw Claire too, a friend from home (Hi Claire!) which was great though I had my dizzy spell when she was here so I hope I didn’t freak her too much!! But I really enjoyed her coming and it breaks the day up so much and helps me loads. I also saw one of the nurses from downstairs who came to say hello and see how I was doing so again I really appreciated that! But I appreciate everything everyone has said and is doing and I will keep you updated!! Mel xxx